Expanding my internet empire 3/2/2015

I can't be contained for long.  Now that my readership here has reached an all time high  of about 6 people, I need to find new ways to give my fans what they want.

I need to find a way to slake the thirst the world has for my content.

I could do a blog, but who does that?

(shhhhhh.)

So I need to be more creative.

I need to be more aggressive.

I need to think of more words that end in -ive...

I don't leave my house much - mostly because there is no where to go.  I don't have a car anymore and the nearest night life is about a $60 USD cab ride there and back for $8 USD beers to listen to Navy guys sing karaoke and be all full of muscles and good looking and stuff.

I can pass on that.

You see this, world?  Gangam Style by the US Navy Midshipmen.  I lived in this town.  I had to live with this.  I don't think I miss it...

So, what can a young, (shut up) smart, (shut up) go-getter, (shut up) like myself do to try to pass the time?

I am surrounded by families.  Families always both frightened and fascinated me.  I never feel like I belong in the same room as one and my fight or flight kicks in...hopefully before I helicopter punch a child in a moment of unconscious reaction. 

I couldn't find a good helicopter .gif file, and this intrigued me...so here you go!

That reminds me...we are going to take a small side track for just a paragraph or so.  A .gif file is a basic 256-color image that doesn't do really well for picture quality, but allows for easy animations and images...Graphic Interchange Format.

I don't have a problem with .gif files.  I love 'em!  You see 2 or 3 per blog page.  Kill some time and go over to GIPHY and have some fun.  

Type in anything.  

Go ahead, I will wait.

You're still looking at the koala, aren't you?

So what is my problem?  What grinds my potatoes over this innocuous and hilarious little animation format?

How would you pronounce "GIF"?

WRONG.

It is pronounced "JIFF".

Now, one of the amazing things about the internet is: since we are just making all this crap up as we go we can basically call it whatever we want.

Meme?  is it "MEM" or is it "MEEEEM"?

The answer is whatever you want.  I hear tell it is pronounced "MEEEM" but I can't.

I just can't.

So I say "MEM" and I say "G-IF" like "GIVE" only instead of -VE I put in an "IF"

Everyone knows what you are talking about no matter which way you say it...but for some reason I just can't call it "JIFF".

Sounds like a New Zealander saying the name "Jeff" and I can't stand that either.

And after seeing this I don't like anything about New Zealand.

...maybe the Lord of the Rings and Hobbit moves and a few others...

...and their "Don't Drink and Fry" campaign...

...maybe...

Anyway, we were talking about me punching children.

So I don't tend to spend time hanging out with families simply because I just don't feel like I belong there.  They are a family and I am the weird guy that won't leave.

I can't get in my car and go, because I don't have a car anymore.  And even when I did, I worked out the math and there was about an 11% chance it would break down or something would happen to it.

Wasn't a great option even when I could drive it.

So what to do?

There are people that aren't families on the street, but they have their cliques and I always work my out of them one way or another.  

It is a talent.

(To clarify our company provides housing - so all the people I work with live in a line on a street in a community.  So at home I see the people I work with.)

So, I don't really blend well with the very few single people here - through age or interests - and I don't feel right hanging with the families.  I feel awkward and out of place for whatever reason.

So the solution is simple.

SIMPLE.

SSSSIIIIMMMPPLPLLLEEEEE

Don't make things more complicated than they need to be...

The answer is you do the thing that you watch people do on TV that makes you happy.

No, not sex.

And not murder, either.

What is wrong with you?  Those are the first two things you thought of?

I am talking about playing video games and recording commentary, of course.

Weirdo.

Now, now - hear me out.

There are some channels on YouTube where people play some games on PS3 or XBox or PC and they record their commentary over it.  I first stumbled upon this section of the internet when I was looking up reviews for Far Cry 4 and its multiplayer sections.

I found a guy and loved his channel.  I usually watch one or two of his videos a night.  They are generally some of the best stuff online and always entertain for 8 to 16 minutes a pop.  If you want to check out his channel, click HERE for bossness.

So I have always been a good video game watcher.  The navigator.  The second set of eyes.  So watching these guys and girls play while making hilarious commentary was just up my alley.

So I have played a lot of multiplayer with my friend in Australia.  Every weekend we battle drug cartels or ride elephants - we tried to tame the wild west last weekend but my game was being a stupid jerk-face and wouldn't load.  You know, we do all the stuff you normally do in real life.  

So I started poking around seeing how they made these videos.

Could I record some stuff?  Turns out is really isn't expensive to start and get decent quality videos.

Maybe I should try...

Now I am not trying to have millions of subscribers.  Both my Twitter account and this Blogger account brightly signify the fact that people generally don't like what I have to say.  But still, the idea of putting it out there seemed like I should give it a go.

I ordered some stuff, a month later it showed up and I plugged it all in. 

A few rough beginnings and weird videos were made initially, but it is getting better.

And what is best is that it is making these games fun again.

I love couch co-op - where you play a game with someone right there in the room.  I guess it is a relic from the 8-bit Nintendo era I grew up in.  So when I play games alone it is a kind of quiet and somber affair...but now with the recording it feels like I am actually talking to people - and it is even BETTER because there isn't actually anyone there!

WIN!

So it adds a new dimension, and the editing and all the syncing up is fun also.  So with one swell foop I have found a way to kill time, not feel alone as much, and make my nights a little happier by shouting at the TV with people that won't hear me for a few days and when they do it'll be through a phone or computer speaker.

I do love the future.

When I get a few videos up I will share my channel with this vast readership and let you kill some time and watch as I over-frustrate at tiny race cars or side-scroller indie games or demos for the blockbuster game that came out 5 years ago.

But I found a way to have some fun, and so I am having a very good time sharing the test videos with my Beta team - who is hard at work making sure I am meeting all quality standards.

They are a difficult bunch to please, and their knowledge of technology keeps me honest.  I bet they are hard at work this very minute taking copious notes and detailing minute details so I can maximize my channel...