Just a guy far from home sharing skewed views and ridiculous rants for your reading pleasure. This blog is mostly harmless. Mostly.

Links to older posts are listed in the subtopics link to your right. Lower. Lower. TOO LOW!

Lower...

I am here to write blogs and chew bubblegum 10/15/14

And I am all out of bubblegum.

To start, if you don't know this classic moment in film history, click on the caption below the picture of awesome and please educate yourself here:


Yes that is Rowdy Roddy Piper.  And why yes, that is an American flag.  Oh, and I see you noticed the tight jeans and plaid shirt oh-so seductively unbuttoned to the over-sized for the ammo gun belt.

You're hooked.  Actually that scene is pretty much it from They Live that is worth watching twice. The rest of it, only once.

It is like Mount Everest - it was climbed because it was there.  Yes, some will climb it twice, but only the mentally unstable.

Same deal with this movie.  Watch it once because someone took an afternoon off and made it - because it is there.

I would stumble up on classic movies like this occasionally when I used to have Comcast and all those channels to choose from.  I don't have cable here in Bahrain for a few reasons.  Yes, it is expensive here - but it is less expensive than the US cable prices.  I think my last Comcast bill was for 3 pints of blood and a virgin sacrifice.

GOOD ONE COMCAST WHERE AM I GOING TO FIND A VIRGIN IN 2014 HUH!?

Oh.  Hey.

Very funny, Comcast.

Jesus, why didn't anyone tell me my face was so big?  My poor glasses.

By the way I had this photo taken in a pharmacy back in the USA.  They just pull down a screen right there in the aisle.  What you can't see and got cropped out was the little old lady in the motorized wheelchair who stopped right in front of me to ask the girl taking the pictures some questions about batteries.

I miss her.

Where was I?  Oh right - cable.

When I had cable I would find myself with a strange need to watch the Transsexual Nazi Eskimo Gold Rush Pawn Shop marathon all day.  Forget about mowing the lawn or work or firing any neurons.  Cable had a hearty hold on me.  2000 channels and nothing to watch.

The grocery syndrome.

You've just gone shopping, spent double what you'd planned and drove home.  You unload the bags and methodically put things away.  You sigh in satisfaction and then open the fridge and there ain't shit to eat.

So one day I decided I was over it, (this is BEFORE Netflix, people!  BEFORE!) and I canceled it. Ha!  Take that TV!  You won't have an iron grip on me anymore.  I am done with this abusive relationship where you take and take and oh is that the new PlayStation 3?

Shit.

Okay, but after I beat these three games I am done with you!  Okay, I mean 30.

Fine.  All of them.

I am going to be that arrogant No-TV guy you meet at parties!  Just like how Vegetarians, (also vegans, atheists and people with kids) who won't shut the fuck up about it at a party.  Here is a standard interaction:

Me: "Hey!  How have you been?"

Veg Head: "Good!  I stopped eating meat and feel really good!"

Me: "Glad you feel good!  Where are you working now?"

Veg Head: "You see, the chemicals they put in the meat can make you feel groggy so when I stopped I just felt so much better!"

Me: "Right on.  So I heard you got ma..."

Veg Head: "And think of those poor animals!  They are..."

Me:
Kiss my shiny, metal bullets!

So now I could tell everyone I meet how I don't even own a TV.  I can listen to them talk about their family or cars or how I need to stop all garbage mashers on the detention level, and I will just go on and on and on and on about how full my life it without the boob tube.

Hahahahahaha jkjkjkjkjkjk.

About that time Netflix came out and for 8 bucks a month I could do the same thing!  I can now binge watch "Hillbilly Blood" or catch the whimsical steaming pile of shit that is "2 Broke Girls"

What cured me of this demon addiction to watching shows over and over?  What was the solution to my problem of plopping down on the couch and watching LOST until it was nearly time to go to work again?

It was actually doing just that...watching LOST.

That show, 120 episodes, I watched like a madman.  I finally watched it about 2 years after it went off the air, because by then people had shut up about it so I could enjoy it.  That thing wore me out.

Now I may tune into Netflix once or twice a month to watch a few shows or catch some comedy, but I mostly stick to shows I download.

The way I figure it, if I want to see it bad enough to download, then I should be watching it.  If I tell you this at a party, I am not saying I am better than you....

Morgan Freeman!  So rude! But seriously...

In keeping at least some parts of this blog about the fact that I live on a spit of sand in the Arabian Gulf, I will point out that internet speeds here are great, and the price is maybe 40 percent lower than I paid in the USA.  I can rip a movie in about an hour or less, but I usually put a handful up and head to work.

What about internet restrictions?  Hey now, that is why they invented the VPN.  The government here did their job and blocked sites that are offensive to the religion, but after that their hands are kept plenty busy with other things.

Like the story goes: Bahrain is called the Pearl Island because they once discovered a pearl so large and so bright that it blinded even Allah from witnessing the great sin of drinking and partying the Saudi's do here every weekend.

It is also nice because I can watch porn.

I said I CAN watch porn...not that I DO watch it.  Sheesh.  Judgey McJudgerson over here...



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