Just a guy far from home sharing skewed views and ridiculous rants for your reading pleasure. This blog is mostly harmless. Mostly.

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Carrom boards and the inevitability of wallet magic 11/26/2014

So, last time we checked in with our hero, (me) he, (I) was in a desperate search for borax to basically save Christmas for a bunch of students who don't celebrate it.

Maybe he was trying to save himself?

Maybe he was trying to recapture some of the Christmas spirit that had been lost when he moved to the Middle East?

Maybe if a frog had wings it wouldn't bump its ass when it jumped?

The world may never know...


Frogs are adorable!  How did I not notice this before!?

So with the help of strangers on the internet and a lot of help from more different strangers on the internet, I was finally able to track down Borax.

Well, not Borax-Borax...but Borax.

Huh?

I shall elucidate...

I went to a Expat site and asked someone I trusted about where to find Borax.  Not only did she go above and beyond to track down what I needed, she also taught me an important lesson about Bahrain.

I will start with the "above and beyond" part...

I asked her since she had been on-island a while where I could find this stuff.  The internet suggested I try pharmacies, which I did, but with no luck.  I looked in hypermarts and little Nesto's in the Riffa souk.  Nothing.

She immediately swept in like a super hero and started emailing and asking around.  In about 24 hours she had the answer...

Carrom Board Powder.

Yeah, I had no idea either...

This is a Carrom Board:

A coffee table with cup holders?  Nope!  Carrom!

So there ya go.  Carrom.  Got it?

Yeah, me neither...

TO THE INTERNET!

Taken from: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carrom

Carrom (also known as Karrom) is a "strike and pocket" table game of Eastern origin similar to billiards and table shuffleboard. It is found throughout the East under different names though most non-eastern people know it by the East Asian name of Carroms (or Karrom). It is very popular in NepalIndiaPakistanBangladeshSri Lanka and surrounding areas. In South Asia, many clubs and cafés hold regular tournaments. Carrom is very commonly played within families, including the children, and at other social functions. Different standards and rules exist in different areas.

Did you read that?

I sure didn't.

I will sum it up for you:

You hit things with other things to make them fall into the pocket things.

I have not played it "for realsies" but I played a free online version, and apart from the usual frustration I feel when I really and terrible at something, the game is pretty fun.

So what does the game of Carrom have to do with Borax snowflakes?

Nothing.

BUT!  The powder you put on the Carrom Board in order to keep scratches down, and make pieces slide easier, turns out to be made from Boric Acid quite often.

What does Boric Acid have to do with Borax that has to do with Carrom that has to do with snowflakes?

Everything.

Borax is the basic mineral that is mined from the ground, and it is then refined through processing into boric acid. 

So, in theory, I can take the powder used to lubricate the Carrom Board Game people in Bahrain love to play in order to crystallize pipe cleaners into snowflakes for kids.

IT IS SIMPLICITY ITSELF!

It's elementary, My Dear Wah Wah Watson!

To be honest, this is all the leg work from my friend on the Expat site.  I am simply reaping the rewards of her clever network in Bahrain.  And I am totally cool with that.  I have no problem claiming total dominance in the clever department because I don't think she reads this blog.

I also said she taught me a valuable lesson about Bahrain...

I lied.

No no, she did.  She showed me that there are people willing to help all over, and maybe...just maybe...it is okay to ask for help from time to time.  Especially if it means not having to steal Borax from some chemical facility and risk incarceration and deportation.

Asking for help is the better option...sometimes.

So I have food dye, I have Carrom Board Powder (which you can find at most Indian run Cold Stores), and I am now working on the pipe cleaners.

Well, when I say: "I am now working on the pipe cleaners" I actually mean that "the homeroom teacher who is TOTALLY excited for these snowflakes is really doing all the looking for pipe cleaners."
I actually say Lycopersicum Esculentum...just to be a dick.

So this looks like it is going to happen.  Snow in Bahrain!?  Look how one idiot with Google and a dream of making science happen in little classrooms can change the world.  Well, it changed mine anyway...and hopefully the kids like it and don't stage a rebellion and hunt me mercilessly with their tiny pitchforks and adorable torches.

I would hate for that to happen again.  

Once?  Okay, mistakes are made.

Twice? Well, I suppose coincidences do happen...

Three time in a week?  You're cursed, bro.

Though I believe I really am cursed.

An old curse, one that plagues many I would think.

It is a curse that will nag you from your teens to your deathbed. 

I am, of course, talking about the Curse of the Wallet Magic.

Just imagine one of those.  A dramatic one.  Like Star Wars, but more terrifying...

What is the Curse of the Wallet Magic?

It is a diabolical one, indeed.

It is the curse where you need 10 BD, but you only have 9.500 in your wallet.

It is the one where you need to give someone 1 BD, but you only seem to have a 20.

I know, I know, I shouldn't complain because I do have money in my wallet.  So all in all, the curse is kind of bullshit, BUT IT IS STILL A CURSE!

IT COUNTS, DAMMIT!

I went to get a Snapple at the coffee shop I sit at from time to time.  1.550 BD.  I had 1.500.  WHO CHARGES 1.550 BD FOR STUFF!!??

Jerk-faces, that's who.

I had to use a 5.00 BD note.

Then I stop at the market here and get some salad bits to take into work for lunch.  Total was 5.200 BD.  I only had a 5 and a 20.

I handed the cashier a 20 and waited for him to stop staring at me with disgust...

I bought a bunch of mousetraps at Manazel...3.750 BD.  I had 3.500 BD.  I had to use a credit card to buy mousetraps.

I almost broke down and sobbed.  The curse was winning.  I was losing my will to pay.

I was at the store yesterday and my items came to 15.000 BD.  I was stunned.  Perhaps the curse had been lifted?  I had EXACTLY 15.000 BD in my wallet!

Huzzah!

But then...the cashier grabbed an item back and looked at it.  

THE BABY CARROTS HADN'T SCANNED!  

NOOOOOOO!

So I ended up 1.100 BD short.  Break out the world's heaviest credit card, (Thanks Chase International - I love it!) and pay that way.

But things are turning around.  

With the success of the possible borax snowflakes I feel as if the winds have changed.  It has rained here, it will snowflake here, I am about to get paid in a week...yeah.  It'll be okay.

BUT WHAT IF IT ISN'T YOU ADORABLE, CARING, HEAVY BREATHING BEAST OF CUTENESS?






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