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I want Kandy Part 2, and I meet a movie star - Sri Lanka Diaries 1/5/2015

So the weather has been raining cats and dogs for about 3 days now.  We saw big white Buddha, we saw the ancient city of Sigiriya and even managed to make french toast one morning.

Things were going well, but the rain was starting to take it's toll.  We decided to head to the Christmas Market in downtown Kandy - the City Center.  Now, we have a City Centre here in Bahrain, it is full of upscale shops and goes on for what seems like miles.

This is not the same type of City Center...

This was a 5 story high building - very tall you'd think.  Somehow those 5 stories only managed to be 4, and the building didn't look any taller than the 3 story buildings right next door.  Because it sits on a steep hill, the mall actually goes another 2 stories down hill.  So from one side it is a 3 story facade, and from behind it is 5 stories.  Makes sense?  Yeah, didn't while I was there either.

So this was the Christmas Market.  And what would you expect to find at a Christmas Market?

Wrong.

You didn't have any of that.

You did, however, have a DJ...

Don't be fooled, this man is a professional.  The people are only seconds away from dancing,

Okay, cool.  A live DJ.  If your mall doesn't have a sound system, this can make sense.  The issue would be that in order to fill 5 stories of mall with DJ music using speakers that are only on the first floor, you need to blast them all the way to 11.

I can live with Bing Crosby or the Transiberian Orchestra blasting...hey, it's Christmas!

But this wasn't that.  This was techno-trance music.  I felt out of place because I didn't have a glow stick and a lollipop.

Apparently, after about 9 PM this mall turns into a full-on dance club on the top floor.  Multiple DJ's throughout the mall, people grinding and dancing, (side note: It took me almost 8 days to find a place that sold deodorant) and general hedonism.  But during the day...Christmas Market.

The only thing Christmas about it is the tree you see in the picture and the poor brown Santa forced to wear a white Santa mask and walk around in a wool suit saying "OH OH OH!".

So we leave and decide to wander around Kandy and see the local sights.

The rain didn't stop us from seeing things like this large Buddha in the middle of an intersection:

At least he has an umbrella...

Maybe I am not clear as to how big this guy was...

It looks like he has Spock ears but I swear I didn't put them there...

He is the size of a city bus with 3 other city buses stacked on top.  Somehow, the shops and restaurants we visited seemed to be in complete disrepair, but Giant Spock Buddha is tip top with a fresh coat of paint.

You have to admire their dedication.

But all this excitement was too much for one of the bunch, so the next day when we went to the botanical gardens we left one behind.  The sky cleared up the day before we left, and it was a beautiful day to go see the gardens.

Now, if you're like me, when you think 'Botanical Gardens' you don't envision a really good time.  You imagine some flowers, and with no offense to Sri Lanka, I didn't have high hopes for an amazing display.

Sri Lanka, however, was quick to shut me up.  This place was damn impressive!

The first view when you walk in...now imagine this going on for almost a 2 hour walk through the grounds.

It was pretty stunning.  The level of care that had to go into taking care of the color mixing and the landscaping must be enormous.  There were stars all over, and each one was full and perfect.

Star of David, but whatever...

There were tree lined paths that went on and on...rows of hundred foot tall palm trees all sprouting coconuts and lush green palm leaves...

Beverly Hills, that is...

There were tunnels of ivy and perfect gigantic cone trees...


See the people sitting under that big Christmas Tree?  Can you feel their...hehe...'presents'?

There were trees with roots as tall as I was...and some even taller...

Far right one I could barely touch the top of the root with my arm all the way up, and I am 6'1"

Perfect fort...or for destroying kids on sleds when the snow just covers them.

There were lines of huge conifer trees....all crooked as hell and perfectly happy about it...

I felt crooked walking through this path.

And straight....straaaiiiggghhhttt....and str...nope, fuck it...leeffffftttt...

And here are a few more pictures of trees...




Oh, and let's not forget the most dangerous tree in the whole wide world...


On the far side of the park, some of these real live trees had real live critters running around and hanging out in them...

Fruit bats.  Up to 8 lbs.  Eat fruit...AND HUMAN SOULS.

She doesn't have two tails, contrary to photographic proof.  That's her little baby who stuck to her like glue.

Oh, and let's not forget the most adorable case of child labor, EVER!

PULL OR WE WILL SELL YOU TO NIKE!

I couldn't believe it - I am not a 'tree guy' or 'crazy' or anything, but I really enjoyed it.  A great place to take a date and carve your name into stuff.  Way better than the time I did that at the zoo.  That koala never forgave me, but now he has a pretty badass RJE 4EVA on his arm.

We came home and got all set to finish the day with the Sri Lanka cultural dance at a nearby center.  Proceeds went to the Red Cross, but we didn't have too high of hopes.

Wrong again.

Even though they did this almost every night, it still looked like they were enjoying themselves.  There were flips and spinning plates and cobra women and you name it...


No, YOUR lighting sucks...

They even had these guys:



I know what you're thinking: WHAT THE HELL!?
Which, oddly enough, is what we were thinking also.

These guys rubbed flames all over their body and then ate them and then walked on them and were like, "NO, YOU TAKE THAT HOT STUFF SOMEWHERE ELSE FIRE YOU DON'T BURN ME" and the fire was like, "Oh snap, really?  I guess I won't then.  Rub me all over you, I guess"

A very amazing time.  I have some video of a lady spinning 5 plates on 5 sticks as she dances around, but I know that is something no one in interested in seeing.

Day complete, out for some drinks and met their friends and then back to the house for an early departure the next day to Balipatiya.  But it would be Balipatiya via Pinnuwela...


And I KNOW you know what that means...

ERMMMAGRRRRRD! ELEPHANTS!

THEY ARE DOING WHAT EERRRMMMAGGRRRRD!!!???!?!?!??!!

That's right, this one of the more popular elephant orphanages in Sri Lanka.  Now, there are the reviews that say the elephants are malnourished and not taken care of.  Some reviews say the elephants are chained up and can't run and be free.

Okay, here is what I saw.

A guide who knew everything about every elephant there and genuinely seemed to care about their well-being.

A skinny elephant...one who was just rescured after falling in a farmer's ditch and losing her herd.  She hadn't eaten in a long time and they were slowly getting her healthy again. 

Two baby elephants taking a bath with two bigger elephants.  All splashing each other.

I am not an elephanteer or anything, but...well now I wish I was...but it seemed like these were happy and healthy elephants.  I don't know and can't say if they are better off in the wild, but if they are orphans or stranded elephants, this seems like a good big place to be.  Yes, they had chains on their back legs...but I wouldn't want a stampeding elephant if I could help it.

All in all, I support what they are doing because from what I saw, it seemed like the right thing to do.

Now...let me show you my new best friend...

It's like a used car lot...

Meet Laxmi.  She has been in over 1000 movies.  She ambled on over and said hello and I hopped on for a quick spin around the park.

If you've never ridden an elephant, picture straddling a pudding filled leather bean bag in choppy weather at sea.

Right?

Awesome.

*tap tap tap*  Is this thing on?

All in all I had a great time and was smiling the rest of the day because I had met my first movie star, and lemme tell you - way better in person....I mean 'way better in elephant'...

One last parting shot with my new pal, and it was back in the van for Balipatiya...the mask making capital of the mask making capital.

She wouldn't fit into the van so I had to leave her :(


















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